yes mom. okay mom I’m shutting it down. its saving. no mom its sAVING THE GAME I CANT SHUT IT DOWN NO MOM JUST WAIT FOR IT TO SAVE I AM SHUTTING IT DOWN
Hey, everyone! Today, we’re going to be talking about feeling shame and guilt in fandom.
A few quick points:
No, actually, you don’t have to hide liking certain ships from your friends. You can if you want, but that feeling of guilt and shame that you feel when someone mocks something you like, or worse, calls it problematic, isn’t something that you have to feel. You don’t have to break things off with your current friends, but please know that you CAN find friends that won’t judge you for liking things they don’t.
We all ship ships because we read fics/metas/hcs for those ships and see reflections of what we need, want, crave, envy, hate, and fear at that moment in our lives. Celebrate your connection to that ship! Celebrate your connection to others who ship the same things! When you find fellow shippers, you’ve found so many other people who might also be going through a lot of similar things as you in their lives right now. That’s rare, out there in the real world! And it’s actually one of the coolest things about fandom.
The same goes for kinks. You don’t owe it to anyone to feel bad, guilty, ashamed, mortified, or self-conscious about your kinks. YES, you shouldn’t rub your kinks in the faces of people who are uncomfortable with them bc that’s a matter of mutual respect, but if someone makes you feel like you’re not allowed to post or talk about it in your own space (your blog), that’s not healthy. It’s unfair to you.
I understand wanting to hide certain things about yourself (liking Sheith, liking noncon, etc.) because you’re afraid of retaliation from antis. Yup. They’re unpredictable and scary little buggers. And controlling your happiness through feelings of fear and shame is every bit a part of their plan. But please remember that antis’ intimidating behavior says everything about the sort of people they are. It doesn’t mean their victims are bad people who deserve vitriol and punishment. If you’ve had scary interactions with them, you’re not a bad person, and I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. If you don’t want to attract their ire, I understand. But that doesn’t mean that the fandom content you like has to become “guilty pleasures” that you’re ashamed for even when you’re indulging in it privately. Resist treating your heart the way an anti would treat your heart.
Life is short. Indulge in what you like. Avoid what you don’t like. Listen to outside opinions when you want to learn and grow, and close yourself off when those opinions are trying to hurt you. There’s obviously more shades of grey to everything than just that, but you’re not hurting anyone by liking the ships you like, reading the fics you read, and making your blog a space that’s perfectly tailored to your happiness.
I think that’s all I have for now. I hope you’re having a good day. 🙂
Bubble Gum: Gender?
Almond: Hair color?
Aquamarine: Eye color?
Asparagus: Birthday?
Cerise: First name?
Dandelion: Middle name?
Leather Jacket: Long or short hair?
Pink Sherbert: Short or tall?
Lavender: Braces?
Manatee: Smoker or non smoker?
Mountain Meadow: Drank or still drink alcohol?
Wisteria: Ever done drugs?
Emerald: Favorite thing about yourself?
Black Shadows: Something you’re allergic to?
Denim: Any diseases?
Raw Umber: Sexual orientation?
Misty Moss: Kissed anyone other than family?
Outer Space: Had sex?
Shadow: Name of crush?
Smashed Pumpkin: Why you like the person you do?
Magic Mint: Number of people you dated?
Steel Teal: Longest time you’ve dated someone?
Thistle: Number of best friends?
Eggplant: Number of siblings?
Fuchsia: Number of pets?
Plum: Still live with parent(s)?
Razzmic Berry: Name of your mother?
Sonic Silver: Name of your father?
Sea Serpent: Both parents still alive?
Eucalyptus: Country you live in?
Salmon: Place you wish to live or visit?
Winter Sky: Number of days missed from school this year?
Mystic Maroon: Met anyone famous?
Dark Venetian Red: Dream job?
Radical Red: Aesthetic?
Malachite: Something you love?
Moonstone: Something you love the smell of?
Bittersweet: Favorite music artist?
Lemon Glacier: Favorite album?
Inchworm: Favorite song?
Scarlet: Favorite book?
Unmellow Yellow: Favorite TV show?
Wild Blue Yonder: Favorite movie?
Blue Bell: Favorite restaurant?
Medium Orange: Favorite fruit?
Mulberry: Favorite vegetable?
Canary: Favorite class in school?
Periwinkle: Favorite website?
Black: Favorite season?
Ruby: Favorite holiday?
Midnight: Favorite day of the week?
Maximum Purple: Favorite time of day?
Permanent Geranium Lake: Favorite flower?
Sea Green: Favorite animal?
Timberwolf: Movie theater or Netflix?
Blizzard Blue: Buying music or downloading from YouTube?
Ok. I’m tired of the typical vampire, werewolf and fairy.I’m also tired of the occidental-centrism in mythology. Hence, this list.
I tried to included as many cultural variants as I could find and think of. (Unfortunately, I was restricted by language. Some Russian creatures looked very interesting but I don’t speak Russian…) Please, add creatures from your culture when reblogging (if not already present). It took me a while to gather all those sites but I know it could be more expansive. I intend on periodically editing this list.
Of note: I did not include specific legendary creatures (Merlin, Pegasus, etc), gods/goddesses/deities and heroes.
(I have stumbled upon web sites that believed some of these mythical creatures exist today… Especially dragons, in fact. I just had to share the love and scepticism.)
Here’s an easy resolution: This stuff is all free as long as you have access to a computer, and the skills you learn will be invaluable in your career, and/or life in general.
1. Become awesome at Excel.
Chandoo is one of many gracious Excel experts who wants to share their knowledge with the world. Excel excellence is one of those skills that will improve your chances of getting a good job instantly, and it will continue to prove invaluable over the course of your career. What are you waiting for?
Perhaps no other skill you can learn for free online has as much potential to lead to a lucrative career. Want to build a site for your startup? Want to build the next big app? Want to get hired at a place like BuzzFeed? You should learn to code. There are a lot of places that offer free or cheap online coding tutorials, but I recommend Code Academy for their breadth and innovative program. If you want to try a more traditional route, Harvard offers its excellent Introduction to Computer Science course online for free.
3. Make a dynamic website.
You could use a pre-existing template or blogging service, or you could learn Ruby on Rails and probably change your life forever. Here’s an extremely helpful long list of free Ruby learning tools that includes everything from Rails for Zombies to Learn Ruby The Hard Way. Go! Ruby! Some basic programming experience, like one of the courses above, might be helpful (but not necessarily required if you’re patient with yourself).
4. Learn to make a mobile game.
If you’re not interested in coding anything other than fun game apps, you could trythis course from the University of Reading. It promises to teach you how to build a game in Java, even if you don’t have programming experience! If you want to make a truly great game, you might want to read/listen up on Game Theory first.
5. Start reading faster.
Spreeder is a free online program that will improve your reading skill and comprehension no matter how old you are. With enough practice, you could learn to double, triple, or even quadruple the speed at which you read passages currently, which is basically like adding years to your life.
6. Learn a language!
With Duolingo, you can learn Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, or English (from any of the above or more). There’s a mobile app and a website, and the extensive courses are completely free.
Full disclosure: BuzzFeed and other websites are in a partnership with DuoLingo, but they did not pay or ask for this placement.
7. Pickle your own vegetables.
Tired of your farmer’s market haul going bad before you use it all? Or do you just love tangy pickled veggies? You too can pickle like a pro thanks to SkillShare and Travis Grillo.
8. Improve your public speaking skills.
You can take the University of Washington’s Intro to Public Speaking for free online. Once you learn a few tricks of the trade, you’ll be able to go into situations like being asked to present at a company meeting or giving a presentation in class without nearly as much fear and loathing.
9. Get a basic handle of statistics.
UC Berkeley put a stats intro class on iTunes. Once you know how to understand the numbers yourself, you’ll never read a biased “news” article the same way again — 100% of authors of this post agree!
10. Understand basic psychology.
Knowing the basics of psych will bring context to your understanding of yourself, the dynamics of your family and friendships, what’s really going on with your coworkers, and the woes and wonders of society in general. Yale University has its Intro to Psychology lectures online for free.
11. Make your own music.
Step one: Learn how to play guitar: Justin Guitar is a fine and free place to start learning chords and the basic skills you’ll need to be able to play guitar — from there, it’s up to you, but once you know the basics, just looking up tabs for your favorite songs and learning them on your own is how many young guitar players get their start (plus it’s an excellent party trick).
Step two: A delightful free voice lesson from Berklee College Of Music.
Step three: Have you always thought you had an inner TSwift? Berklee College of Music offers an Introduction to Songwriting course completely for free online. The course is six weeks long, and by the end of the lesson you’ll have at least one completed song.
Step four: Lifehacker’s basics of music production will help you put it all together once you have the skills down! You’ll be recording your own music, ready to share with your valentine or the entire world, in no time!
12. Learn to negotiate.
Let Stanford’s Stan Christensen explain how to negotiate in business and your personal life, managing relationships for your personal gain and not letting yourself be steamrolled. There are a lot of football metaphors and it’s great.
13. Stop hating math.
If you struggled with math throughout school and now have trouble applying it in real-world situations when it crops up, try Saylor.org’s Real World Math course. It will reteach you basic math skills as they apply IRL. Very helpful!
14. Start drawing!
All kids draw — so why do we become so afraid of it as adults? Everyone should feel comfortable with a sketchbook and pencil, and sketching is a wonderful way to express your creativity. DrawSpace is a great place to start. (I also highly recommend the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if you can drop a few dollars for a used copy.)
Have you never really “gotten” jazz? If you want to be able to participate in conversations at fancy parties and/or just add some context to your appreciation of all music, try this free online course from UT Austin.
Another invaluable skill that will get you places in your career, learning Photoshop can be as fun as watching the hilarious videos on You Suck At Photoshop or as serious as this extensive Udemy training course (focused on photo retouching).
Instructables has a great course by a woman who is herself an online-taught knitter. You’ll be making baby hats and cute scarves before this winter’s over!
21. Get started with investing in stocks.
If you are lucky enough to have a regular income, you should start learning about savings and investment now. Investopedia has a ton of online resources, including this free stocks basics course. Invest away!
Most cities have free community classes (try just searching Google or inquiring at your local yoga studio), or if you’re more comfortable trying yoga at home, YogaGlohas a great 15-day trial and Yome is a compendium of 100% free yoga videos. If you’re already familiar with basic yoga positions but you need an easy way to practice at home, I recommend YogaTailor’s free trial as well.
24. Tie your shoelaces more efficiently.
It’s simple and just imagine the minutes of your life you’ll save!
Escaping from Tumblr ～Backup Blog～ 